


Stark's Home For Imaginary Children

by agentsimmons



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Banter, Banter Banter Banter More Banter, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Canon Divergence - Iron Man 3, Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers (2012), Dark Past, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Past Torture, Science Boyfriends, Science Bros, Tags Contain Spoilers, Tags May Change, Team Bonding, Team Dynamics, Team as Family, Tony Being Tony, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Still Has Arc Reactor, banter with a side of banter plus an order of banter to go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-03-31 12:42:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3978493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentsimmons/pseuds/agentsimmons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Avengers Tower is filling up fast with people that can't be matched, that can't be controlled. Tony Stark, and Company, are learning that they're hopelessly, hilariously outgunned. </p><p>But maybe that's not a bad thing.</p><p>[CURRENTLY TAGGED ABANDONED - SEE AUTHOR NOTES]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1 year, 54 Days Since The Battle of New York

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place after, and includes _most_ of the canon details of, Iron Man 3 before diverging from there. There will also be mentions of some elements from AoS (aka Coulson is alive). But nothing else from Phase 2 applies. Characters and elements introduced in the other Phase 2 films may show up, but there will likely be no actual canon compliance if/when they do. There will also be elements/characters adapted from comic canon that have not yet been introduced in MCU and by adapted I mean totally butchered and reimagined for whatever my mind feels suited to this story. There will also certainly be cliches and fanon jokes. And probably some middle fingers flipped at Age of Ultron.
> 
> NOTES AS OF 7/1/16 While this was not my first science boyfriends fic (I wrote some crappy stuff for my own enjoyment prior to this, never published to this date), it was the first scibf fic that I started writing specifically for the purpose of publishing - although I published some pre-slash stuff prior. Because of this being the 'first', my own insecurities with writing and my sucky tendency to want to fit in and not rock boats with my preferences, as I was writing it I utilized a lot of the more widely accepted things I'd seen in scibf fanfiction at the time I started writing it regardless of how I feel about them:
> 
> \- e.g. I don't ship bottom!Tony - strictly speaking; I'm cool with vers!Tony all day long if it's explicit in a fic that there's versatility (sorry if that doesn't make sense) - and yet in this fic I wrote that he's a natural bottom since that seemed to be the consensus I'd seen and shallowly I wanted people to enjoy/read the fic.   
> \- e.g. I was going to use the disgusting 'Pepper nagged about him getting his lifeline removed' and 'Pepper cheated on him' tropes since I'd seen a lot of that even though I hated that portrayal of Pepper.   
> \- etc. 
> 
> So all in all, when I started going on to other fics and finding my voice and a tad more security (which let's be real still isn't much) in writing the characters how _**I**_ want them in a fic, this fic just kind of felt hard to come back to. I won't say I'll never finish it. But at this point I'm not actively working to finish it as opposed to other fics/series I've started.

**Chapter One**

_**1 year, 54 Days Since The Battle of New York** _

Natasha narrowed her eyes.

_What are you up to now, Clint?_

She had been sprawled out in solitude in the lounge that was adjacent to the shared kitchen and dining room, both parts of a large, open concept common room intended for the residents of Avengers Tower to share. Until Clint had stolen her attention away from her StarkPad. The other half of, since-disbanded, Strike Team Delta had very suspiciously entered the kitchen from the other side of the room and was currently filling a duffle bag with as much food as he could along with some bottles of water. The fact that she had somehow gone undetected to his well-trained eye told her that his focus was solely on something else, whatever purpose this duffle bag of food served no doubt.

_Finally building a nest after all? The others will love that._

The team joke tickled her mind and a slightly sardonic smile played at the edge of her lips. However the amusement was short-lived as he finished what he was doing and then carefully peeked back around the corner of the hall he had come from, the one that led back to a set of elevators.

(There were too many elevators in the tower, she always mused. Stark seemed to enjoy having a gaudy excess of everything, including ways to get to the same exact place depending on one’s location rather than just one common set of elevators.)

Whatever Clint was up to, he she could tell that he didn’t want to be caught. Natasha carefully tossed aside the StarkPad and watched as he hurried out of the kitchen once more. The curiosity was too strong for her to keep down. Or maybe it was the sudden nuisance of a whisper in her mind saying maybe he was intending to duck out. He had ducked out last night too.

 _On_ _a mission? For Fury? For his own purposes?_

She squelched that voice, ingrained from years of indoctrinated cynicism, with a quiet curse and then stood to her feet to follow him. Peeking around the corner, she saw the elevator door just as it came to a complete close. She then made her way to the nearest stairwell. 

The labyrinth of stairs throughout the building were just as ridiculous as the elevators. Because Tony “I'm obscenely rich and even though I refuse to take stairs unless absolutely necessary, why the heck not?” Stark had a strange sense of humor. There were also unnecessary hallways, many leading to dead ends, and secret tunnels (because she was pretty certain that was probably one of Tony’s many neurotic fetishes) scattered throughout the building.

And, of course, she had found and mapped every single one so getting the drop on Clint would be a piece of cake.

She briefly entertained the notion that maybe a small part of Stark’s bizarre layout was also to make them all feel at home. Secret halls and passages for her, stairs for Steve, large and crazily elaborate ventilation system for Clint…

Right. Clint.

She immediately set her focus back to the archer’s inexplicable behavior and decided on the best route to sneak up on him.

“Alright, got plenty to eat and drink here for you,” Clint said, unloading the contents of the duffle bag onto a coffee table that sat in the living area of his private suite. Then he bent down beside it and started rummaging through the items. “Got some Poptarts. Poptarts are always good. Some, uh, weird granola bar things. I don’t like them, but Banner and Rogers are always eating them so maybe it’s just me.

Let’s see here, some good old-fashioned peanut butter crackers; can’t go wrong with that. Unless you have a peanut allergy, I guess. God, I hope you don’t have a peanut allergy.” That particular comment is muttered. “Fruit roll ups. Heaven wrapped in plastic. I guess maybe I should have grabbed some actual fruit, come to think of it. I’ll grab some next time and maybe a jar of Nutella while I’m at it. Okay, we also got some… Oh, hey, dried blueberries. Huh. I guess I grabbed some fruit after all, kid. I can’t say I was really paying attention at that point.”

Clint started to laugh, but then froze. He slowly stood back up and then turned to face her. Natasha had been standing behind him for longer than he realized. It was unusual because he always knew when she was there, but she immediately realized he had an excuse this time. His attention really was on something else. Or more appropriately, _someone_ else _._

That someone being the disheveled, young girl sitting on the couch opposite Clint.

The girl was thin with skin the shade of cool, raw umber and she had round eyes nearly as dark as the black, barely-tamed curls tied upon the top of her head. She stared long and hard at Natasha like a skittish animal, but then her gaze traveled up to Clint. There was a look in those dark eyes that Natasha immediately recognized. Trust.

“I can explain, Tasha,” Clint began, but then noticed her continued, fixed gaze on the little girl and turned back. “Hey, this is Natasha. Remember, I told you about her?” The girl nodded and Natasha immediately noticed the way her shoulders relaxed again. “She won’t hurt you. So you go ahead and pick out whatever you want while I talk to her, okay?”

_You’ve done some crazy stuff over the years, Clint, but abducting a child?_

Her heartbeat quickened against her will and she tried to ignore the way the little girl reminded her of so many other little girls she had known once upon a time.

“Still waiting for that explanation, Barton.” Her voice was shakier than she had wanted. Perfect.

“SHIELD got a tip that the Ci—" He stopped short, looking over his shoulder and then coming closer to her. “The Circus,” he said, lowering his tone as Natasha’s face fell in understanding, “is up to its tricks again. They’re going around New York looking for some new recruits. Fury asked me to check it out last night with an op so I did. We broke up their little party, managed to even wrangle a few of them into custody.”

“That’s where you disappeared to,” she said, letting him know she had at least noticed he’d gone out. “And the girl?”

“She was part of their group. As far as I’ve managed to get from her, she’s an orphan they picked up a few months ago when they noticed her playing with a pocket knife in a park where they were setting up shop. I caught her little dagger act when she tried to get away from me. She’s good. Dangerously good. With more training, the Circus…” His voice trailed and Natasha knew it was because of the less than composed expression on her own face.

“Would have trained her to be a killer,” Natasha finished with deep conviction. “So you pitied her because of your own past. But why didn’t you just turn her over to Fury? The girl’s probably been traumatized. She’ll need psychiatric evaluation at least. Bringing her here… Maybe not a good idea. And how did you even get her past SHIELD?”

“Coulson,” he answered to the point and Natasha understood. The resurrected agent had a soft spot that had only gotten softer since his return from the afterlife. “I called him. Told him I had some concerns. He made it clear that if I brought her in, they wouldn’t spare any protocol just because she’s a kid. First confinement, then intense questioning, then relocation to one of the SHIELD approved foster homes, but only if she checks out alright first. I couldn’t do it, Tasha. I… I figured I’d bring her here until I could figure something else out.”

A heavy silence hung in the air around them for a moment. The only sound was the unwrapping of plastic as the girl finally settled on some Poptarts.

“What did you do, disable JARVIS and sneak her in through the vents?” Natasha asked with a smirk, but the way he cocked his head to the side with a guilty smile implied her joke wasn’t far from the truth. “Stark isn’t going to be too happy with that. JARVIS is probably snitching on you as we speak. Why…” Her voice wavered. Natasha hadn’t known the question was even on her mind until she’d begun to speak it. “Why didn’t you come to me about this?”

“I was going to. Just figured I needed to get her settled in first. And, honestly, it wasn’t just my past I was thinking of. Didn’t know how you’d take it. How I should even tell you.” Her eyes dropped and the muscles in her face tightened instinctively.

“I understand,” she offered, hoping he could hear the gratitude she felt. “But she’s just a girl. And you don’t know a thing about taking care of a kid, Barton.” Natasha looked over his shoulder to see the child practically devouring the Poptart. “For starters, I’m pretty sure she’ll need a better diet than that.”

Of course, it wasn’t like she was an expert either. The domestic arts hadn’t been a part of standard Red Room curriculum. It wasn’t necessary unless the role absolutely called for it; in those very, very rare cases, an intense crash course would suffice.

“You okay?” He asked and she smiled.

“Yeah, and you?”

“For now. Ask me again later when the others find out.” She chortled.

“So, does she have a name? Age?”

“Uh, yeah. Tandra and she’s nine.”

“Hey there, Tandra.” Natasha’s voice changed expertly to a reassuring tone and she moved past Clint to sit down in the nearby chair. “I’m Natasha. You’re safe here. Well, safe is a relative term. We’re all a little messed up, but we won’t hurt you.”

“Nat, what are you doing?” Incredulous didn’t even begin to describe his reaction and she smirked lightly.

“Telling her like it is, Clint. If she’s been hanging around with the Circus, it’s best she know right away that we have our share of demons and superpowers too. We just use ours to help people,” she directed this part towards Tandra. “Are you okay? Do you have any questions? Need anything?” Tandra swallowed a drink of water and then set the bottle down nervously.

“I… I just want to go back to the foster home,” she finally said, a sad sort of mewling in her tone. “But it’s so far away and they probably don’t want me back. I was too much trouble. I was kind of happy there, but I didn’t act like it. Miss Haven was nice.”

“Where is this Miss Haven?” Natasha asked with a raised brow.

“California,” Tandra answered.

“California?” Natasha and Clint shared a wide eyed glance at one another. “That’s pretty far.” Natasha kept her voice calm. “But if you want to go back, I’m sure we can arrange it. I know this is a tough question, but… Did you run away with those people?”

Tandra's flinched and she shook her head slowly. Natasha sensed the way Clint tensed beside her and she turned to look at him carefully.

“Clint.”

“I don’t care what Fury does to me,” he practically growled. “I’m going to go shoot those bastards right off that ship.”

“No! Please, no!” Tandra panicked and Natasha felt herself turn ill, her eyes shooting back to see the terror written on the girl’s face. “I don’t want anyone to get killed. Please, don’t.”

Natasha’s breathing grew shallow and her gaze distant. She would know that tone in anyone, but especially in the voice of an innocent girl. She would have known that cold, white fear in anyone’s eyes, but especially in the eyes of a child.

Tandra had killed somebody.

* * *

“Scan complete. Dr. Robert Bruce Banner. Access granted. Welcome, Dr. Banner.” Tony smiled one of his broad smiles as JARVIS announced the arrival of Bruce to his personal lab. He looked over to see the scientist and waved a hand.

“Oh goody, Brucey’s here." He clasped his hands gleefully as Bruce made his way over to him. "We missed you at breakfast, big guy.”

“Uh, yeah, I was working on something. Lost track of time.” And by that Tony knew Bruce meant he hadn’t slept at all and had worked straight through breakfast. “JARVIS said you need me?”

“I always need you.” Tony’s tone was laced with double meaning that caused Bruce to roll his eyes – a gesture that had quickly become a trademark for the physicist since moving in with Tony a little over a year before.

“Oh, so you called me down here to try and seduce me again?”

For all his exasperation, Bruce had a sharp enough mind and tongue to keep up with the genius inventor and Tony loved it. His other friends – well, ok, he only really had Rhodey for the first half of his adult life – were great, but they too quickly reverted to “Tony, no” or “Tony, stop” whenever he got going. Banner, on the other hand, allowed his banter and was quick-witted enough to dish it back. There was only one letter difference between Banner and banter though and Tony couldn’t help, but muse about how that one letter was his own first initial. Even if, admittedly, it was grasping at straws to try and understand why they clicked so well.

“You always come when I call. Admit it, you like when I try to seduce you.”

Bruce snorted. “There is no way I am ever admitting that to you.”

“Spoil sport,” Tony sniped and then turned around and enlarged his holographic screen. “Alright, so I’m working on something and wanted to run it by you. What does this look like to you?”

“Um, an ID card?” Bruce asked as he fiddled with the rim of his glasses and his eyes squinted. “I’m pretty sure these have already been invented, Tony. Unless your plan is to try some creepy Big Brother angle where everyone has to have one in order to live, what am I looking at?”

“Nailed it. All hail Emperor Stark.”

“I’m not sure what’s worse. That I honestly can’t tell if you’re joking or the thought of you being an Emperor in any sense of the word.”

“Brutal.” But he loved it. “So they are technically kind of like Big Brother cards, but only for Avengers. They’re like an Avengers club card. Not sure what to call them yet, but basically everything we need in a convenient wallet size ID. They’ll be able to be traced in case-"

“Hulk gets the urge to run again?”

“I was going to say in case any of us are in danger and need to be found. Honestly.” Tony shook his head at the pessimistic doctor, quirking his mouth upward slightly. “They’ll also serve as a small communications device. They'll be able to link up to one another. The photo identification square in the corner will double as a two way video phone and I might see if I can add in some kind of texting ability. Basically, with a push of a button, it can send out an alert to any Avenger to assemble. Thoughts, Doctor?”

“That’s… Not a bad idea actually,” Bruce commented with a tilt of his head and began studying the specs more closely.

“You always say what I like to hear,” Tony purred playfully as he watched Bruce inspect the screen.

“Still not admitting anything.” Bruce pointed a finger at him without turning. “I am, however, wondering about how the Other Guy could actually use it. Do you think he would understand? Or be able to not completely smash it accidentally? And if it’s in my pants when I come back down, I may lose it altogether.”

Tony’s mouth hung open, head tilting back and forth, as he thought of ways to retort, but he was interrupted by JARVIS before he could.

“Sir, I believe there is something you need to see in Mr. Barton’s suite.”

Tony cocked his head towards Bruce, the latter doing the same, and he noted their shared confusion.

“You didn’t disable the X35 protocol did you?” Bruce’s genuine question stung a little. “We talked about this.”

“No, I did not disable the X35 protocol. That was a joke. I have some integrity left. Give me a little credit, Banner.” Tony gave him a look that told him he was truly offended, but ended up feeling a little guilty when Bruce hung his head in more regret than was necessary. “Uh, it’s _not_ an X35 right, JARVIS?” Tony asked quickly.

“No, Sir. But you _did_ disable that protocol several months ago and it has never been reinstated. As I recall, you were very drunk and desperate to prove Ms. Potts was cheating on you with someone else in the Tower.”

Tony flinched as the repressed memory flooded back to his mind and he felt Bruce’s eyes bore into him. Great. Just what he needed. Sometimes Bruce Banner could be just as inherently self-righteous as Steve Rogers, although he was sure the scientist didn’t realize it or even mean to be.

“I was drunk and angry, Bruce. I wasn’t thinking clearly,” he defended himself before Bruce could say anything. “JARVIS, reinstate immediately.” Bruce raised an eyebrow at him and Tony rolled his eyes. “And delete any necessary footage from the archives obviously.”

“Right away, Sir. As for Barton, he temporarily disabled my security protocols very early this morning.”

“He _what_?” Tony looked at Bruce again as the other removed his glasses. “What is it you're telling me, JARVIS? Has he… Has he gone rogue? Is he after… Do we need to-to-" Now was not the time for one of his panic attacks. He thought he'd gotten over all that.

“Calm down, Tony.” The irony of Bruce telling him to remain calm was not lost on Tony, but he took a deep breath just the same. “We don’t know he’s after anything. We should let JARVIS finish.”

“Thank you, Dr. Banner,” JARVIS responded politely. “Agent Barton went on a mission last night at the request of Director Fury because of a personal connection to Barton’s past. He returned very early this morning, temporarily disabled my alarm, and then proceeded to sneak back in through the ventilation system. He was not alone.”

“Not alone?” Tony narrowed his eyes. “So, all this secrecy because he didn’t want us to know he’d brought home a-"

“A child, Sir,” JARVIS interrupted before he could finish and the two men stepped back in simultaneous bewilderment as the holographic screen doubled in size and showed the security feed of Clint’s suite.

“Tony, did you create a wormhole to another dimension that I should know about?” Bruce’s dry voice asked at Tony’s side.

“Nope.” For a brief moment all they could do was stare in silent shock at the footage of Clint, Natasha and the strange girl as the three sat around in Barton’s lounge. “JARVIS, what exactly are we looking at here? Is it Barton’s?”

“She, Tony. Not it.” Tony rolled his eyes at Bruce’s quick correction.

“No, Sir, not Agent Barton’s. Or Agent Romanoff’s. The child is Tandra Smith. Her public record indicates she is an orphan from a Miss Haven’s Foster Home in San Francisco and that she is nine years of age. A missing person’s report was filed approximately four months ago under the assumption she was a runaway. However, according to what I’ve managed to parse from the conversation occurring in Barton’s suite, she was abducted by the infamous Circus in order to make use of her skill with knives.”

“So, you’re telling me Clint has snuck an abducted child who could kill us into our tower. That’s just-"

“A good call,” Bruce intervened and Tony looked at him in disbelief, noticing the way Bruce had gone tense. He had tensed as well, at the mention of the child’s abduction, but he wasn’t going to let that cloud his reasoning skills completely.

_How could this possibly be a good call? One, it’s a kid. Kids in general are rarely good calls. T_ _wo, skill with knives!_

“Think about it, Tony," Bruce continued. "Clint really doesn't seem like the type who would just bring a stray kid home with him. A stray animal, maybe. But I don’t think he would have brought her here if he didn’t doubt SHIELD’s ability to handle something like this. He knows how they operate.”

“He did mention something along those lines,” JARVIS confirmed.

“But a kid? That’s good with knives? She could be brainwashed by the Circus for all we know, Bruce.”

_How are you not getting this?_

“No, I got it, Tony.”

_Damn, how **does** he do that?_

Tony looked back up at the screen and furrowed his brow. He then looked back at Bruce who was boring holes into him again with those intensely dark eyes of his. At last he let out a deep breath.

“I do have a heart, you know? It’s not a normal heart, but it’s a heart. I wasn’t planning on just dumping her out on the street or turning her over to the Angry Eyepatch in the Sky.”

“I didn’t think you were.” In spite of everything, Tony noticed the thin smile playing at Bruce’s mouth.

“But I do have plans to teach Barton and Romanoff a lesson. Especially Barton.” Bruce’s shoulders slumped in expectation of what Tony could possibly have in mind. “It pisses me off just a little bit that one, Clint thinks he can disable JARVIS and get away with it and two, that they’re playing that super secret assassin mind game thing again. I mean, come on. Barton should have just called us right away to help take care of this or to at least warn us. We’re a team now. What did he think I would say? Sorry, no, let the kid rot with the rest of them?”

“Well, yeah, he probably did think that,” Bruce answered him to the point, scratching his shoulder slightly and then raising his hand with a shrug. “What are you planning on doing? Whatever it is, please don’t let it be anything that’ll traumatize that poor girl more, Tony.” Tony frowned and then crossed his arms at the implication.  

“Is this 'piss off Tony' day? Because you’re starting to do it too, Bright Eyes.”

“And here I thought I was trying to seduce _you_  for a change." An involuntary smile spread across Tony's face and his head rolled back on his shoulders.

_Sharp, Banner. That’s why I keep you around._

“Nice recovery. For that, I’m gonna let you help me with my plan.”

* * *

“This AI is completely rigged,” Clint groaned every single syllable as he held his game controller with a death grip. “This is my fifteenth time trying to beat Stark on this track.”

Following the Battle of New York, Avengers merchandise had become a lucrative commodity. Shirts, mugs, dresses inspired by their suits, action figures, play sets, LEGOs, plush dolls, more adult-based memorabilia, absolutely _everything_. Fury had said he hadn’t been tracking their whereabouts, but in truth he helped behind the scenes with making _The Avengers_ a profitable brand. The way he figured, the more the public adored them, the easier his job would be in using them in the future with government approval, or at least disinvolvement.

Currently, Clint was playing one of the many video games inspired by the team: a kart game that also featured the Fantastic Four and some X-Men. It was no Mario Kart, but it was still fun to actually compete against each other in a game inspired by them. Only, it would be fun if he wasn’t currently losing repeatedly to the Stark AI - which was the programmed host for the Avengers Tower track when playing the game in one-player mode.

“I have tried to best Stark on that track far many more times than I can count,” Thor chimed in as he joined Clint and Natasha in the living area of the common room. Clint looked over at the demigod as he sat down in one of the chairs and rolled his eyes a little.

“Your AI is ridiculously easy to beat,” Clint heckled, if only because his frustration needed an outlet.

“As is yours.” He should have known Thor would fire back without hesitation.

“You fellas do realize Stark probably paid under the table to have the game developers rig the one-player AIs to his liking.” Clint turned to look at Natasha thoughtfully. She hadn’t even bothered looking up from whatever it was she was reading on her StarkPad. She still didn’t as she continued, “I mean, making himself the host of that track specifically and making his AI one of the hardest to beat seems pretty much like a Tony thing to do. And putting you boys nearly last, yeah, that’s a Tony thing to do too. In fact, if he did have any input, it’s pretty telling how he ranks us.”

“I am not one to jump to ill conclusions about colleagues and friends, but if I’ve learned anything in my time as an Avenger, it is that Tony is an exception to that rule.”

“As he should be,” Clint said with a snort. “If there’s a chance to take a wisecrack at someone, Stark isn’t going to pass it up. And he probably assumed we wouldn’t figure it out.”

“Well, to be fair, you wouldn’t have unless I had mentioned it,” Natasha retorted and Clint could see the slight quirk of her eyebrow. The one that suggested she was laughing on the inside if not openly.

“That may be true. So you’ve tested your theory then I take it?” Clint asked.

_When? I’ve never seen you playing this game by yourself._

“Naturally,” Natasha answered, finally setting down her StarkPad and looking at them. “I suspected it after hearing Thor complain about the track one time. So I gave all the tracks multiple tries. You two are fairly equal in terms of difficulty, but only a few steps above Reed Richards who is the lowest of all of the AIs period. You can lap him at least once every single time. More if you’re good enough at the game. That pretty much tipped me off right there that Tony was involved somehow.”

Clint laughed at this. It was no secret what Tony thought about Mr. Fantastic. Thor didn’t quite understand the joke, but it was funny. Or it would be funnier if Stark hadn’t been a dick about his and Thor’s AIs.

“Ben and a few of the X-Men are right around your level too,” Natasha continued. “Then there are some X-Men somewhere in the middle range of difficulty. Some higher, some lower. The next step up is me, Steve, Johnny and Susan. He probably knew I’d kill him if he made me any lower than that. And, obviously, he respects those three. Logan may or may not be on our level too, but it’s inconsistent.”

“So, you’re pretty much near the top then?” Clint looked at her, making sure not to pose the question sarcastically. She shrugged indifferently. “No, it makes sense. You should be. Number one in fact,” he added, noticing the way she moved to grab her StarkPad again as if on instinct. At one point in their history together, he would have then immediately dodged upon reflex, expecting the tablet to be hurled toward him. “What doesn’t make sense is Stark being number one. I mean, it makes sense why it makes sense to him, but it still doesn’t make sense.”

“I would like to take a turn at the track again,” Thor said, after a long pause that Clint figured was him trying to make sense of his comment.

“Have at it,” Clint conceded, handing over the controller. He then switched seats with Thor to allow the demigod a better position to play the game. “But I doubt you’ll get anywhere. It’s impossible and now we all know why.” He slumped down into his new seat. “Banner should be happy he doesn’t have a track. Or would they have made Hulk the host?”

“He does have a track,” Steve responded, coming over to them from where he’d been in the kitchen preparing dinner for the team. “Now would somebody like to tell me where half our pantry has disappeared to?” Clint did his best not to shoot a wary glance at Natasha. It would be an instant give away and he was a better spy than that. “We have a chart for a reason. When you take something, mark it down so we can keep track. Otherwise, ordering more supplies is a harder chore than it needs to be.” Steve’s old-fashioned, military mindset had definitely been handy in helping the mismatched roommates adjust to living with one another and handling the day-to-day basics. But this was not one of those times that Clint was appreciative of it. He’d forgotten all about the chart when snagging food for Tandra.

“How much stuff is missing?” Clint decided to deflect Steve’s suspicious gaze with a question. “And what do you mean Banner has a track?”

“Enough to notice. I might not have if not for half a box of the granola bars being gone since yesterday.”

“Only you and Bruce eat those,” Clint pointed out. “Maybe the big guy got hungry in the middle of the night and forgot about the chart. Honest mistake. And seriously, I’ve never seen Banner’s track. Are there cheat codes nobody’s told me about?”

“Maybe,” Steve answered hesitantly to Clint’s suggestion that Bruce had eaten everything. “But he’s not exactly the biggest fan of Poptarts and an entire box of those are missing. So if anything, I’m thinking everybody’s gotten lax on filling in the chart and we need to make sure it doesn’t keep happening.”

“Fine, fine. Whatever. I know I took a few things without filling in the chart, so I’ll make sure I will next time,” Clint settled for a fractional admission of the truth. Captain Justice For All wouldn’t let up anytime soon otherwise.

“Same here, Steve,” Natasha added.

_About time you spoke up. Thanks for all but leaving me out to dry._

“That’s all I’m asking.” Steve seemed sated for the time being. “As for Dr. Banner’s track, it’s after this one. It’s like a bonus track or something.”

“What?!” Clint straightened up, thoughts of the missing food immediately forgotten. “You’re telling me there’s another track after this one and _you’ve_ seen it?”

“Yeah, you just have to beat Stark to unlock it. It’s really, uh, interesting.”

“So you’re telling me you… YOU have beaten this track?” Clint couldn’t believe it. The man had been on ice when video games had been invented. Steve had been on ice the entire time people like himself had been selling their souls and sleep schedules to gaming. How could he be good enough to beat an impossibly rigged AI?

“I have too,” Natasha interjected and he jerked his head toward her. It just kept getting better. Or was it worse? “I just didn’t want to say anything that might make you feel bad." Her patronizing sarcasm was not entirely lost on him. "But it’s true. Planet Hulk is the bonus track.”

“Planet Hulk?” Clint raised his brow in confusion. What would that even look like?

“Don’t get me wrong,” Steve placated, “Stark’s AI is no walk in the park. I played the track an hour straight determined to beat it. Then I got to Planet Hulk and had to play another hour to beat _it_. But the little send off at the end of the game is pretty-"

“Cheesy? Cringeworthy?” Natasha was teasing, so whatever it was, Clint knew it had to be bad.

“I was going to say nice. It’s a nice sentiment.” Steve’s response only made Clint that much more curious, and that much more frustrated that he and Natasha had already beaten both Avengers Tower and this newly discovered Planet Hulk.

“Wait, so is Bruce’s AI on the same level as Stark’s then?” Clint suddenly wondered aloud. “Or… Well, I’d ask if he was even smarter, but it’s Stark we’re talking about. Not even his mancrush on Bruce could warrant that.”

“It’s not smarter,” Natasha answered through a small laugh. “But it is about the same. If not, it’s not very far behind. Or it could be the logistics of the level that makes it seem that hard,” she then suggested with a shrug of her head.

“That’s true,” Steve said with a nod. “The level is in two parts. First you have to beat Dr. Banner and then you have to beat the Hulk.”

“I hate you guys for knowing this,” Clint replied, not even a hint of joking in his tone. “After dinner, I’m playing this stupid game until either I beat it or until my fingers fall off, at which point I will play with my feet.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Steve started, that tone which Clint had come to learn as his ‘I’m actually about to make a joke here, but don’t be too harsh if it’s not funny’ voice. “Tony could probably just manufacture some metal fingers for you.”

“As long as it doesn’t throw off my bow skills, works for me,” Clint took the joke in earnest as he watched Steve cross back over to the kitchen.

“It might throw off some other personal skills that require delicacy though,” Steve’s voice called back and there it was.  _That_ was the punch line. Clint had to admit it was funny and so he laughed. Then Thor lost yet again on the Stark track and he laughed some more.

This laughter and general team bonding was interrupted by the sound of bickering as Tony and Bruce came towards them from the nearest elevator, the one that led specifically to the various labs in the tower. Clint turned his attention to the two men to see Tony’s hand firmly on Bruce’s shoulder, closer to his neck, as he apparently tried to convince the cautious man of something yet again.

“No, Tony, no,” Bruce’s protests were calm, but firm.

_How he manages not to Hulk out every single time he’s around Tony is beyond me._

“Bruce, babe, just try to hear me out. It’s a good idea.”

Clint rolled his eyes. Only Tony Stark could call a man ‘babe’ unironically and then not even bat an eye - or even wonder why anyone else might bat an eye. Of course, he didn’t just call any man ‘babe’ either. For that, Clint was personally grateful.

“I heard the first three sentences of that idea and, trust me, Tony, it is not a good idea,” Bruce countered, Clint’s curiosity peaked by the physicist’s staunch determination to fight Tony.

He had figured out soon enough that if the idea really was bad, Bruce would fight harder to make Tony see reason and, surprisingly enough, he could sometimes get through to the egotistic billionaire. If the ideas were only marginally questionable, well, Bruce was pretty good at playing lap dog to Tony’s charms before all was said and done. Not that he was particularly complaining since it was a nice change of pace from always watching Natasha be the one to wrangle and seduce people into submission. But Natasha’s usual powers of persuasion were practically amateur hour compared to the power Tony somehow managed to exercise over the otherwise level-headed, brilliant Dr. Banner – all with a nonchalance to the possibility that one day he might get more than he bargained for if the Other Guy disagreed for once.

“Pretty, pretty please?”

_He’s **begging**? What exactly do you want to do, Stark? Ehhhh, on second thought, maybe I don’t want to know._

“Uh oh, trouble in paradise.” Regardless of whether or not he wanted to know, Clint couldn’t resist a few jabs at them. Especially Tony for his shady manipulation of the game industry. “What are you two spatting about this time? Which one of you will bottom?”

He laughed at the way Bruce practically froze in place and squirmed under the now-awkward hand still on his shoulder. In stark contrast...

_Or is it Stark contrast..._

He could see the look of amusement on Tony’s face. The guy was shameless and would gladly follow this topic as if it were the most natural conversational piece in existence.

“Apparently we haven’t met. I’m Tony Stark.” Clint looked up at him incredulously, not having expected the hand that Tony offered him in jest. He refused it and Tony merely shrugged. “And Tony Stark, as everyone knows, is definitely a natural bottom. It’s kind of a power play kink. I’m more powerful than pretty much, the entire world, so letting go of that in bed really does it for me, you know? Isn’t that right, Bruceykins?”

“Yeah, I’d rather not discuss our sex life with the team if it’s all the same to you, Tony,” Bruce answered on the ball.

_He’s funnier than you, Stark._

“He’s just modest. Turns out that's another turn on for me, actually. But even I was surprised about that one.”

_Still not that funny. Then again, are you even joking at this point?_

“So if your sex life is off the table, and it better be since that’s where we eat,” Natasha cut in, her own wit foiling every single one of them as even Steve’s laughter mingled in from the kitchen, “then what _were_ you two geniuses arguing about? It must be something big if Bruce is standing his ground about it.”

Clint smiled. Not only was she funnier than all of them combined, when she allowed herself to be, Natasha was also just as observant as he was. She’d picked up on the team dynamics and all the little cues just like he had. That’s why they were such a good team. If by some chance, one of them was off their game – like he had admittedly been earlier that day – then the other was always right there on the same playing field to get them through it. And when they were both on their game? Nobody stood a chance against them.

“Tony here thinks we should step up our superhero game,” Bruce started to explain. “He’s been thinking about what Xavier does over at his place and has gotten it into his head that we should, I don’t know, collectively adopt a kid.”

“A… A _what_?” This was not what Clint had been expecting and this time he did look at Natasha.

“You want to adopt a kid?” Steve had turned off the stove and was now with them again. “You can’t be serious, Tony. Some of us can barely take care of ourselves. Kids deserve better than that.”

“Wait, was that code for ‘Tony, you’d be shit at parenting?’ because that’s pretty harsh for someone who wouldn’t know how to even raise a kid in _this_ century.”

Tony was livid and Clint observed the way Bruce quickly angled his body between them, his pelvis slightly turned towards Tony. Classic peacekeeping stance with the tell-tale of who he was more interested in protecting should it escalate. He would have considered it further if the subject of the confrontation wasn’t more distracting.

“Hey, hey,” Bruce interjected, “it’s not worth losing our heads or saying things we don’t mean. We’d probably all be bad parents, at least, in our current states, which is why I think it’s a bad idea to introduce a child into our volatile household. Specifics of our parenting skills aside, it would just be too dangerous.”

“What put this notion into your head?” Thor paused the game and turned to them curiously. “While I mean no cruelty in this remark, I would not think a man like Tony Stark to be interested in the responsibility of fatherhood. Unless, could it be this is born from a desire to prove your merit in the office of paternity? In Asgard, it is common not only for a man to prove his skills as a warrior who could protect a family, but also his gentility and compassion towards child-rearing to prove his worth as a potential father. You are already a great protector, Tony. Is it that you wish to prove the latter to someone?”

Clint’s eyes widened. _Everybody’s_ eyes widened. Nobody had expected that possibility. Thor had a point that fatherhood didn’t seem very high up on the “Tony Does What Tony Wants” list of things to do. In fact, he was pretty certain it wasn’t on the list at all. He noted the look of aghast on Tony’s face and took it as a pretty good indicator that Thor’s theory was as far from the truth as humanly, or alienly, possible. Then again, he also noted the way Tony’s eyes flickered sideways towards Bruce with a look that Clint couldn’t quite place. As far as he could tell, the look could mean anything from “Uh, yeah, I’m trying to impress Bruce, does nobody get this yet?” to “Are you hearing this? One more comment like this and I’m evicting everyone’s asses from this place except yours, buddy.” He had to admit, Natasha was better at reading eye cues than he was. Of course, she’d had more practice over the years. It had helped her to survive.

“Okay, so I’m a future contender for ‘worst father of the year’ – check.” Tony began what Clint knew would be one of his melodramatic, defensive spiels. Smarm was practically an emotion for the guy. “And, obviously, this is an attempt to puff up my chest and prove myself worthy of a mate. Because as it turns out money, brains, charisma, and good looks are all overrated when it comes to species preservation or whatever. Check. And if I’m not mistaken, Barton over here,” Tony pointed at him, “probably assumes that this has all been, from the very beginning of the Avengers Initiative itself, one big, elaborate scheme to mate with Dr. Banner. And he’d be correct. Check.”

There was a long, awkward pause as they all avoided eye contact. Clint studied his teammates carefully, trying to figure out if anyone was actually as close to maybe believing Tony as he was – as stupid as he knew that was. They were all uneasy though, so maybe Tony’s acting had gotten better. Only Bruce seemed at ease with the situation, amused by it even. That was even more confusing.

_How can you be that calm when you’re possibly being mate-hunted by Tony Stark? As far as jokes go, it’s not even funny._

“So now that all the points are out there in the universe and duly noted by yours truly, let’s get to the part where you all humor me a little bit and assist me in adopting Tandra Smith.”

Clint’s bottom fell out.


	2. Heroes and Martyrs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team learns about Tandra. Bruce is a sweetie pie of epic proportions. Bruce is also epically hungry. Tony is a good bro. And it's not a date. Or maybe it is. Whatever.

**Chapter Two**

_**Heroes and Martyrs** _

“Tandra Smith?” Steve decided it was his duty to get to the bottom of things.

“Yeah, she’s a girl on the run from SHIELD apparently,” Bruce answered him. “JARVIS intercepted a report that she’d just barely escaped the agency’s clutches last night when they raided the Circus. She’s incredibly, incredibly dangerous. So, of course, Tony thinks it would be a good idea to recruit her before SHIELD can or before she can join up with another villain organization. Danger junkie,” this part last part, Steve knew, was aimed at Tony.

“Am I to assume that getting a sick thrill from dangerous experiences also doesn’t look good when one is trying to impress a potential mate?” Steve rolled his eyes as Tony returned to the previous conversation, his attention fixed solely on Bruce. “Because I obviously need to make a note of it if I have any hope of being successful.”

“Incredibly dangerous?” Clint spoke up and Steve narrowed his eyes when he noticed the perspiration forming around the man’s hairline.

“Uh, yeah,” Tony answered, a little too nervously for Steve’s comfort. There was something in his tone now that he couldn’t quite read. “Apparently. She’s been on SHIELD’s radar for a while now and she’s had some other interested parties. Not sure if she’s just a skilled assassin with her daggers, it doesn’t say in her profile, or if she’s a gifted or a mutant. But I figure if there’s that many people interested, we should be too. And Xavier’s got enough mutants for his weird mutant army if she turns out to be one.”

“You can’t be serious, Tony,” Steve said, setting his jaw in frustration. “If this girl is dangerous, then SHIELD should make the call. We have no business interfering just because you suddenly think you want to play Daddy Warbucks.”

“Wow,” Bruce said, a slight chuckle escaping his lips as he did. “He, he might have you there, Tony. That _was_ a pretty clever retort. And I don’t think he was even trying.”

“Dr. Banner, please.” Steve looked at Bruce hopefully, ignoring his slight jab. “Help me out here.” If there was anyone who could talk Tony out of even the most ridiculous of stunts, it was Bruce. The two had a connection that really came in handy when Tony was… Well, being Tony.

“I’ve been arguing with him for over an hour, Steve.” Steve looked back and forth between Tony and Bruce, whose hands were raised defensively. “He absolutely won’t listen to me.”

Steve let out a deep breath of pure frustration and then calmed himself. Okay, so plan one had failed. Maybe there was a better way to get through to the inventor.

“Why do you really want to do this, Tony?” He asked solemnly. “If you want us to support you, then you’ve got to at least have a good reason. Do you even like kids?”

“I thought we were all clear that this whole thing is about Bruce,” Tony answered him, but a chastising glance from Bruce seemed to put him back into his place. “Alright, alright, fine. First of all, of course I like kids. Kids are, uh, kids. Second of all, this is about the future of the team. I’ve been thinking about it lately, being a futurist and all. And the thing is, eventually we’re going to need new recruits and younger recruits at that. It’s like Fury told us back when we started this musical act, the world is going to keep filling up with monsters and aliens and gods and all kinds of threats we can’t even conceive yet. The science is against us. This is evolution. And we need to be ready. But we can’t do that if it’s just six of us, which is why Xavier’s got the right idea with his mutant club. We need to expand our club or the future of our team is a longshot at best.”

Steve knitted his brow thoughtfully. Part of what Tony said made sense. But there was another part of it that didn’t feel genuine and he couldn’t quite place his finger on it. Tony was usually cockier than this, for one thing. The team rarely asked for help from the X-Men or Fantastic Four because of Tony’s insistence that they could handle it or that they should try to think of it like jurisdictions and not interfere with one another.

“So you only want to take in a random kid because she could prove useful for the longevity of the team? That doesn’t exactly seem very noble. Nobody wants to be kept around only if they can prove useful.” Steve glanced over at Clint again. Now the marksman was staring a hole into Natasha and appeared twitchy.

“Worst father of the year award, remember? I’m not a sentimentalist. The kid is like 8 or 9 and was an orphan fending for herself,” Tony answered with a shrug. “I’m pretty sure she’s not really looking for a pat on the head and to be tucked into bed every night. I don’t see anyone criticizing Xavier’s school.”

“Charles Xavier is a good man with heart, Tony,” Steve challenged. “But you… You want to bring an incredibly dangerous girl into this tower, someone who might already get the notion to try and kill us, and treat her like she’s a science project or something. If you don’t care about her, at least respect the rest of your team. How could you even consider putting us in jeopardy?”

Steve waited for an answer, but instead Tony’s eyes shifted to stare long and hard at Clint. The billionaire was clearly challenging Clint without words, tilting his head questioningly. Confused, Steve studied Clint some more and couldn’t shake the suspicion that something else was going on here.

“Clint, do you have something you need to say because you certainly look like it,” Steve asked to the point.

“Please, don’t be angry with him.” The young, unfamiliar voice caused everyone to turn their heads. 

“Is this…” Steve raised his brow. “Are you Tandra Smith?” The girl nodded and Steve then turned his attention back to the rest of the team. “How is she already here? I thought you were just arguing about bringing her, not keeping her because Tony already brought her.” He scrunched his face at Bruce and Tony.

“Actually, I was just trying to put Clint and Natasha here on the spot," Tony replied. "Of course, Iron Will over there didn’t even blink. But Barton here on the other hand,” Tony said, gesturing at him as Steve tried to keep up. “He’s the one who brought her in. Then he tried to keep it from us by messing with JARVIS' interface. Then Natasha abetted him. Oh, and then, by the way, JARVIS informed me," Tony tilted his head back down at Clint, sass and annoyance evident in every feature.

“So that’s where all of the food went,” Steve said with a mental ‘aha’ resounding in his tone. He looked at Bruce more carefully now. “And did you know about this, Bruce? This doesn’t exactly seem like you.”

“Uh, yeah, guilty.” And the doctor did in fact look a little guilty. “Tony wanted to play a little prank on Clint for not coming to the team up front about trying to protect the girl. I thought as long as he didn’t hurt Tandra in the process, there wasn’t too much harm in trying to spook him,” Bruce explained.

“Traitor,” Clint sniped at the doctor.

“I think that depends on where his loyalties lie deepest,” Steve intervened, noticing the confused exchange between Bruce and Tony, but not bothering to explain it to them. “Besides, they have a point. You brought a potentially dangerous child into the tower without even bothering to discuss it with us. That’s not the pinnacle of trustworthiness.”

“I’m not dangerous!” Tandra shouted from behind him with bitter desperation. “Please! _Please_ don’t send me back to the Circus! Or, or anywhere else that’ll make me do something I don’t want to do. I promise I won't hurt anybody. I just want to go home. Clint and Natasha said I could.”

Tandra’s pleas were heartbreaking, but nothing could prepare Steve or the others from the shock of seeing Natasha walk over to the girl and stroke her head soothingly. She reassured the child that she was still safe and then carefully pulled her over to join her on one of the couches. After the initial shock wore off, Steve then turned his head expectantly toward Clint.

“Listen, guys, SHIELD would have taken her and put her through the works because of her skill set and association with the Circus,” Clint began pleading his case. “Stark might have been joking about interested parties, but it's not far from the truth. Once you’ve been in that life, it’s hard to get out. Trust me. She deserves a chance at something better. And I may not be Daddy Warbucks the man himself, but I thought to myself once I figured out how to bring it up to you guys, maybe the real Daddy Warbucks over there could at least use his influence to help come up with something. Turns out, Tandra just wants to make it back to her old foster home in California. We can do that at least, right?”

“Suddenly I feel guilty. This was supposed to teach you a lesson and _I’m_ the one who feels guilty,” Tony said, shaking his head in disbelief.

_Serves you right, Tony._

Steve took a deep breath and then looked around at the team. This was the last thing he'd expected to happen when he awoke that morning. He'd taken a nice long run, meeting up with his good friend and running buddy, Sam Wilson, also known as The Falcon when he was called in by SHIELD every now and then when he was absolutely needed. He had then stopped by SHIELD HQ to discuss a potential lead in a personal case he was investigating. It was a dead end, but he'd had a nice lunch with Sharon Carter to make up for it. He couldn't have guessed the mess waiting for him back at the tower even if he'd had the power to read the future.

“Well, now that this is all out in the open,” Steve cleared his thoughts and interjected before anyone else could say anything more, “I agree with Clint. We can’t just send Tandra away and we do have the means of getting her home safely. And maybe we can all learn a lesson here about trusting one another from the beginning or at the very least how to maturely call one another on things when there’s a problem.”

“Subtle,” Tony said, flashing him an unappreciative sneer.

“In the meantime, you’re welcome here, Tandra. And if all of the missing snack food in the kitchen is any indication, you’re due a much better meal.”

“I _am_ hungry.” Tandra nodded at him.

“Sorry about that, kid,” Clint apologized genuinely.

“Oh, I didn’t mean…” Tandra seemed uncertain. “I’ve never had a Poptart before. It was delicious.”

Thor startled them all with a goodnatured laugh. “She is already one of us, in my book.”

Steve wasn’t sure that was the kind of train of thought to be encouraging since they weren’t keeping her, but he did want to encourage Clint. “Hey, you made a good call. That’s what matters.” He then turned to look at Tony with slight disappointment. “Some things aren’t a joke, Tony. Even if you were trying to get even with Clint, sometimes context is important.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it now,” Tony responded, rolling his eyes slightly. “Joking about orphans. Not really my best moment. But, hey kid, I _am_ a little curious how you found us. Have you been wandering around the tower all day?”

Steve had to admit, he didn’t exactly like that idea. If not for their sake, for hers; the tower wasn’t exactly child friendly.

“The British voice told me how to find you,” Tandra answered. “He said not to be frightened and that you would be expecting me.”

“JARVIS?” Steve looked at Tony curiously.

“Well, yeah, obviously that's who she means, but I didn’t tell him to send her.” Tony shrugged.

“That would be me,” Bruce admitted as Steve raised an eyebrow in his direction and noted that Tony did the same. “Look, I didn’t feel that great about joking about orphans and I also figured she could use a decent meal. I also figured we should see her for ourselves before getting down to deciding what to do with her. I told JARVIS to send her along once Tony let her name drop. That way he could still get his moment of seeing Clint’s reaction, but without it hopefully going too much further than that without her being here to defend herself.”

Steve smiled. Bruce was still the responsible one even when he was being roped in by Tony's antics. It would always be slightly amusing, although Steve kept it to himself, that the man whose other self could destroy an entire town on a whim was the responsible one. Of course, maybe his continued closeness to Tony gave pause to the extent of his responsible nature, but Steve couldn’t fault him for the weakness either. Some things, no matter the logic, couldn’t be helped.

Thus, he watched the struggle between the two geniuses that followed Bruce’s confession with interest.

“So you actively gave JARVIS a command behind my back in order to counter me?”

“Uh, sort of. I guess you could technically frame it that way.”

“Traitor.”

Steve smiled and placed his hand on Bruce’s shoulder. He patted it before walking towards the kitchen. “Now the title fits,” he added loudly enough for them to hear, but didn’t turn to see their reactions.

* * *

The team sat around the table enjoying the mashed potatoes, meatloaf, and arugula salad that Steve had prepared. But Bruce could tell nobody was enjoying it more than the little girl that sat across from him, sandwiched between Clint and Natasha. She had already nearly finished her plate and he noted that she had begun to make awkward glances around the table when she thought the others weren’t looking as well as towards the kitchen as if to see if there was more.

Bruce knew what she was going through. She was a stranger in a strange place and she was hungry, but also afraid she might overextend her welcome. It tugged at his heart, knowing that feeling firsthand and having also seen that look of wanting far too often in the eyes of the children he’d helped in other countries. Although she probably hadn’t been starved by the Circus - it wouldn’t be conducive to her performance - he was certain they probably didn’t care enough to serve her three square meals a day let alone in a safe and comfortable environment such as their tower.

Unfortunately for her, this environment also happened to be home to three monstrous appetites.

_Well, **one** monstrous appetite._

And then two more appetites of super proportion. And Steve had already finished much of the dinner prep before they’d found out about her so dinner hadn’t been made with her in mind.

Bruce looked down at his plate. He’d had enough servings for one person and a half already and, honestly, he was far more used to staving off that empty stomach feeling than she probably was. He had lived with it long enough to know how to manage it; and, besides, Hulk appetite or not, he was a grown man who didn’t have the same nutritional needs as the girl sitting across from her.

He saw from the corner of his eye that Tony was watching him curiously. Tony was far too aware of when he was thinking through something, setting his mind to a plan. They were both aware of it in the other. Before Tony had a chance to give him that silent questioning look, Bruce took his plate, unceremoniously extended it toward Tandra’s and carefully dumped the rest of his meal onto her plate.

Tandra’s eyes grew wide as did everyone else’s. When he brought the empty plate back to sit in front of him, he carefully risked a glance at the stunned, brown eyes sitting beside him and practically screaming, “Why did you just do that?”

“It’s okay,” Bruce ventured, looking back at Tandra reassuringly. “You look like you’ll appreciate it more than me and I’ve already had plenty.”

_Liar._

Sometimes the voice in his head sounded an awful lot like Tony. He was sure Tony was probably even thinking that, or something similar, at the moment. 

“Really?” Tandra looked hopeful, but unsure.

“Oh, yeah, I insist,” Bruce responded unwaveringly and offered her a smile for good measure.

“Thank you!” Her smile was practically blinding. It was like a flash of nearly tangible light had flickered across her face for a moment before settling.

Bruce blinked several times at this and then turned to look at Tony, wanting to gauge if he had seen it too. If he had, he didn’t make any indication of it. Instead, the engineer was still staring holes into him with deep concern that Bruce would otherwise appreciate if he wasn’t certain he’d done the right thing in giving Tandra the rest of his meal.

Bruce decided to get up and place his empty plate in the sink, but hadn’t counted on Tony following him. He did his best to ignore him, but that was rarely something that worked where the other man was involved.

“You can stop looking at me like that now, Tony.” He settled for a brief, firm statement. He made sure not to raise his voice so loudly that the others would hear.

“Hey, I’m just a little worried is all. You most definitely did not get enough. Is the Hulk going to be okay with that?”

Bruce let out a puff of air that was somewhere between an exasperated exhalation and a small laugh.

“He doesn’t really have any say in the matter. I might have a big chunk of his appetite now, but he learned a long time ago that some days there just isn’t enough food to satisfy that appetite. So he and my stomach can grumble all they want, but it’s not going to change matters.”

He turned away from the sink a little to see Tony’s expression had changed to one of pity. It was that same pitiful expression Tony got whenever he learned something new and depressing about Bruce's past. Bruce didn’t always appreciate that expression because he didn’t appreciate others feeling sorry for him when he could manage that on his own. But he didn’t resent it either because he knew it was Tony’s way of letting him know he still cared enough to be struck by the injustice he had borne through the years prior to joining up with the Avengers. For a man like Tony, who had been privileged most of his life, Bruce had come to understand that pity was just Tony’s way of saying, “You deserved to be as privileged as me. Maybe you deserved it more.”

“Look, Tony,” Bruce continued with a sigh. “Yes, I’m still hungry. But that girl needs it more than me. Who knows when she last got a really good solid meal? I’ll be fine. And until we take her back to California, we can just prepare our meals a little bigger so this won’t be a problem next time.” Tony looked as though he was considering his words and rolling them over in his mind alongside something else. “What?”

“I’m just thinking how it could have been anyone else to give up some of their food. I don’t have your metabolism, I could have done it.” Tony shrugged and Bruce had to smile thinly at the hypothetical gesture. “Thor eats enough for 5. He could have eaten for 4 today. Steve probably just didn’t notice before you did. Clint and Natasha-"

“Tony, please.”

“No, don’t give me that. You’re always the one making these kinds of sacrifices while the rest of us just let you or take it for granted that you will. And you’re too observant. You’re always three steps ahead of the rest of us and doing your hero act before the rest of us can catch up. You don’t always have to be the one that does this, Bruce.”

“Are you done?” Bruce asked after allowing his rant to run its course and allowing a moment of silence between them for good measure. Tony rolled his eyes which he took as a yes. “Good. Now listen, don’t think I’m not grateful for everything you just said. And had you or someone else shared your food with her, I wouldn’t have stopped you. I would have been happy that Tandra still got what she needed. And... Okay, I might have tried to push some of my food onto your plate had it been you,” he admitted, easing the mood between them.

“Martyr complex,” Tony deadpanned.

Bruce snorted. “Maybe. But, look, I’m not going to apologize for what I did just because you think it should have been somebody else. Fact is, I’m pretty adept at knowing when somebody is out of their element and afraid to ask for hospitality even when they really, really want it.”

“Oh.” Tony’s enlightened expression spoke volumes.

“Yeah, oh.” Bruce nodded. “That’s why I noticed and nobody else did. That’s why I’m okay giving up what I have to alleviate that feeling in someone else that doesn’t deserve it. That feeling sucks and she’s too young to have to deal with that. Don’t begrudge me for something that makes me feel a hell of a lot better than a full stomach does.”

“Alright,” Tony conceded to his reasoning at last. “But next time just nudge me or something. Next time it’s my turn.”

“Fair enough,” Bruce said with a smile. “But I’m still going to put some of my food on your plate when you do.”

“Textbook martyr complex.” Tony smirked and pointed at him.

“Oh, stop.”

“Hey, Daddy Warbucks, Grace, you wanna rejoin us?” Clint called from the dining table. “Steve thinks we should get to know Tandra a little bit better.”

Bruce looked at Tony with a raised eyebrow and then made his way back over to the others, Tony following close behind.

“Really? Grace?” Bruce looked at Clint skeptically as he sat back down.

“I thought it was clever." Clint shrugged. "If Stark is Daddy Warbucks then that definitely qualifies you as the faithful assistant that’s perky and goodnatured. It’s a compliment if you think about it,” Clint reasoned, causing Bruce to close his eyes, pinch the bridge of his nose and shake his head. 

“He makes a good point,” Tony interjected and Bruce opened his eyes wide and looked up at the man still standing between their chairs. “I don’t need anything but you, Brucey.”

Bruce couldn’t hold back the laugh that bubbled up from his stomach as Tony sat down beside him, frowning slightly at the response. “Oh, yeah, I have a hard time believing that line. You only also _need_ your arc reactor, JARVIS, sheets with a thread count in the thousands, modern technology, private transportation, money in general really, probably a good shrink because I keep telling you I’m not that kind of doctor, science – you definitely need science, and let’s not even mention-"

“Okay, okay, point made,” Tony interrupted, but everyone was already laughing.

Bruce noticed that even Tandra was giggling quietly as she looked around at their amusement. Clearly she had no idea why it was funny, but Bruce knew it was because she felt safe and like she could maybe belong. He could remember that feeling as if it was yesterday and not already over a year prior; it was the feeling he had gotten when Tony had strutted around the Helicarrier lab, playfully provoking him and taking jabs at Steve.

“I think we should get back to being serious now,” Steve tried to regain control of the situation, but Bruce could hear the laughs he was still attempting to stifle.

“Wait, wait.” Clint held up his hands, laughter still in his tone. “How do you know that Tony needs sheets with that high of a thread count?”

Bruce practically groaned and turned to Tony, but it was too late. The chance to turn the tables and have the last joke was already sitting in the engineer’s lap and he was far too quick on the uptake to miss a beat.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Bruce already made it clear that we don’t discuss our sex life with others. And besides it would be a wildly inappropriate topic with Tandra present. Very irresponsible of you, Clint.”

Clint frowned. Thor grinned. Steve cleared his throat extra deliberately. Natasha rolled her eyes in pretentious fashion. And Tandra finally laughed outright. Bruce decided hers was the best reaction and followed suit, a small chuckle as he looked over at Tony in amusement. Tony might not be a martyr or always have incredible perception, but he did have a natural knack for luring people out into the open. He brought humor and warmth and familiarity to most situations and Bruce knew that Tandra needed that just as much as she needed food, if not more. It’s what he had needed too.

* * *

Tony rounded the corner and looked into Bruce’s lab. Sure enough, he was sitting off in a corner, bent over a work station.

After a long discussion with Tandra, where they had learned she had been abandoned with only a pendent necklace and a note giving her first name and date of birth and that she had moved around several times before ending up at Miss Haven’s for about a year prior to her kidnapping by the Circus, they had invited her to the joys they figured a child her age should have. They had played foosball, air hockey and video games for several hours, the girl clearly having the time of her life. She seemed to be especially fond of Clint and Natasha, but Tony figured that was to be expected. Although he worried a little about what might happen if she got too attached before they could contact this Miss Haven of hers.

Sometime during the evening, Bruce had ducked out and it hadn’t gone unnoticed by Tony. The others had probably noticed too, of course, but Tony was sure he was the only one who worried just a little bit more as to the possible reasons. The others accepted Bruce’s introversion for what it was. It was just a part of him and if he was done with human interaction for the time being, then there wasn’t any reason to push. Tony, he tried to give Bruce the space he needed on the same grounds. He knew as well as they did that Bruce needed time alone. He needed it too sometimes. But it didn’t stop him from getting a little twitchy the longer Bruce was left alone.

It had been over six months since Bruce had last run. And Tony hadn’t even been there to know about it. He’d been otherwise detained in Tennessee. After the business with Killian had been settled and Pepper cured from her run-in with Extremis, he left the latter safe and sound in the hospital to recover under Rhodey’s occasional watchful eye. He had then gotten on his plane and flown back to Stark Tower, which had been in the final stages of its remodel into Avengers Tower. He had come to find one person - the one person he could spill his soul out to - only to find that the one person he needed to see had run out on him. The idiot hadn’t even packed a bag.

_“You’re alive?” Bruce blinked as if he was afraid the phantom Tony might disappear. “I thought-"  
_

_“I know. I should have called you immediately, but I was in a bad place. Only Pepper and Rhodey knew. And this random kid I met. I’m sorry.”_

_“I thought you were dead,” Bruce said what he had intended to say anyways._

_“Yeah, and I thought you said you weren’t going to play Houdini anymore. I came back to the tower and you were gone. You didn’t even pack anything did you?”_

_“God, Tony, I thought you were **dead**!”_

_The silence reverberated around them. The only sound that broke through was of the kids of the small Indian village laughing and shouting things in Hindi._

_“You ran because I died?”_

_“I ran because if I didn’t get out of there, there wouldn’t have been any tower left. I didn’t have time to pack. It was all I could do to fight back the Other Guy long enough to get somewhere he wouldn’t hurt anybody, Tony.”_

_“Took it that hard, huh?”_

_“Are you surprised?”_

The question had practically swallowed them whole. Tony still wasn’t sure he had an answer when he thought back to that moment. Normally his ego would have expected that kind of response, but with Bruce it was different. There had been something so real and raw about that moment. Two people who hadn’t known how close they’d become until the idea of not having one another had threatened that bond. It had been difficult to convince Bruce to come back because he was afraid of how easily that level of intimacy with Tony, or with the team once they moved in, might shatter him if something happened again. And the fear of Bruce not coming back had nearly shattered Tony.

But now here he was in his lab. And he hadn’t run in the short time since ducking out from the gathering in the common room. Tony knew it had been silly to think he might. It was ridiculously clingy too. But that didn’t stop the wave of relief that overwhelmed him and put his mind at ease.

He entered an access code and let himself into the lab. For a few moments he just watched Bruce as he worked on whatever miraculous feat of science he was likely working on. He would have kept up this quiet vigil a little longer if it wasn’t for the way Bruce suddenly gripped his stomach and then rubbed it. The man was hungry and by the looks of the few discarded wrappers nearby, he’d already tried staving off the hunger with little success.

“Hey, I thought we had a date,” he said in a low enough tone so as not to startle the man, although he’d probably heard him come in.

Bruce turned on his stool and looked at him with a furrowed brow. He looked at him and then around in contemplation. “Uh, I don’t remember anything being on my calendar,” he finally said, bewilderment in his tone. “I know there’s a tech conference coming up… I thought that was in a few weeks though. Is there something else we were supposed to work on tonight? I-I didn't mark it down if so...”

Tony smiled at the man’s honest attempt to figure out the meaning behind his statement. He came over to stand in front of him and leaned his right hand down on the work table.

“I meant as in a you-and-me date, not a work date.” He threw his left hand between them a few times in demonstration.

Bruce’s head fell back on his shoulders a little bit to create distance between them. “Did somebody hit you in the head with the air hockey puck or something? At the very least, you have to actually ask a person on a date and have them say yes in order for them to remember it.”

“Right, right, knew I’d missed a step somewhere,” Tony said, scratching his cheek and then straightening back up. “So, how ‘bout it?”

“How ‘bout what?” Bruce eyed him skeptically.

“A date, genius. Try to keep up.”

Bruce’s eyes somehow managed to widen while his eyebrows knitted in confusion. Tony tried not to laugh at the befuddled response. “Are you… Are you tipsy right now? Are you guys playing truth and dare upstairs? Or what?”

“If you don’t want to go on a date, you can just say no,” Tony said in his best injured tone. “Honestly, I can take it. I just thought we could go get some burgers and fries or something. Nothing too serious. Wasn’t like I was asking you to go out dancing with me or anything.”

Realization dawned in Bruce’s eyes and manifested in an expression that was neither amused nor exasperated. Tony smiled at the doctor’s sudden awareness of the purpose behind his question.

“You know, there are easier ways of telling me I need to eat,” Bruce said with a slight chuckle as he turned back to his microscope. “Besides, I already have.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” Tony grabbed the empty wrappers and took them over to the nearest trash can to discard them. “But, frankly, I’m a little worried about your being on the Clint Barton diet.” Bruce chortled, but didn’t look at him. “I just thought if I posed it as a date, it would be an excuse for you to eat without my having to pester you about how very obviously hungry you still are in a condescending way. A no muss no fuss loophole of sorts.”

“So, what you’re saying is I have to date you to get food now?” Bruce turned and looked at him again with a raised brow. “Like, you wouldn’t just take me to get some food because we’re two friends hanging out? Or you couldn’t just go get me something and bring it back to me because you’re concerned for a pal? Those options are too condescending?”

Tony chattered his teeth. “You got me. I was hit on the head with an air hockey puck after you left. Right there,” Tony pointed to his forehead. “It’ll probably look disgusting in the morning.”

“You’re something else,” Bruce responded, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. The inevitable thin smile followed shortly after.

“So, you wouldn’t have just waved it off had I suggested we go grab a bite to eat for your sake?” Tony looked at him carefully. “You wouldn’t have just pulled a Saint Bruce on me?”

Bruce closed his eyes and hummed slightly. “A burger and fries sounds so good right now you probably could have suggested it on any terms you wanted and I would have agreed.”

A smile broke out on Tony’s face. “That sounds pretty shameless, Dr. Banner.”

“And you know you love it,” he teased back and Tony’s smile widened.

“Damn betcha. Now let’s go get that burger and fries.” He nodded his head towards the door and Bruce didn’t argue.

Ten minutes later he and Bruce were seated across from one another in the corner booth of a greasy diner a few blocks away. He was grateful the owners knew him well enough not to make a fuss and that the hour was late enough that nobody coming in and out of the diner would be particularly interested in Tony Stark, or Bruce Banner by proxy.

“What a day,” Bruce said casually as they waited for their order and Tony had to nod in agreement. “Never expected a kid in Avengers Tower.”

“That’s an understatement,” Tony responded with a laugh. “I’m a little worried though,” he said more soberly before taking a drink of his soda.

“About her getting too attached to Clint and Natasha?” Bruce guessed. “Yeah, I saw it too. It was great seeing her respond like it was the first time she’d ever actually had fun, but it’s clear her attention was almost solely on them. She adores Clint already and Natasha doesn’t seem too far behind. I’m a little surprised by that actually.”

“I know right?” Tony joined in again with a smirk. “I never thought Natasha would go for the whole maternal thing. I guess we all still have a lot to learn about each other.”

“Guess so,” Bruce agreed. “But Tandra isn’t a variable we had counted on. We should probably…”

“…contact Miss Haven first thing tomorrow,” Tony finished the statement easily. “Definitely. I might actually have Pepper do it. She’d probably handle it better.”

“Probably,” Bruce said, but didn’t seem convinced so Tony gave him a curious stare. “It’s just, she’s not your personal assistant anymore so this isn’t really in her pay grade. Also, we're technically harboring a missing person so any hope of keeping this on the down low might fly out the window at some point. Sure, Pepper would do her best to keep it under the radar for us, but she’s your CEO and it wouldn’t look good if it got out somehow.”

“Maybe you are the Grace to my Daddy Warbucks,” Tony joked casually, his chin resting in his hand thoughtfully. “So what do you suggest? Whatever it is, we have to do it soon before we risk…”

Tony’s sentence trailed and his hand fell as his mind wandered to the place he’d been trying so hard to keep it from all night. That place in his mind that always manifested in the image of a little boy sitting alone at a large table with a half-eaten birthday cake, deflated balloons all around, and only the friendly gaze of an aging butler and the rouged smile of a woman who wasn’t even his mother to keep him company.

“Tony? Tony, are you okay? Hey, hey, come back to me, Tony. Just breathe.” Bruce’s methodic urging broke through Tony’s fragile memory and he looked at the scientist long and hard for a moment before coming back to. “You okay?”

“Abandonment issues,” Tony said, exhaling sharply. “We need to get Tandra back before we risk her feeling like we’re just abandoning her.”

“I agree,” Bruce replied gently. “And I understand, Tony. I know what that feels like too.”

Tony looked at the steady dark eyes across from him. Eyes that should be green at just the casual mention of a terrible childhood that made parents missing your birthday party seem like a mildly irritating sunburn in comparison.

“We’re one screwed up pair, you know that right?” Tony asked, risking a small smile.

“The thought has occurred to me a couple of times, yeah,” Bruce answered cheekily.

“So what do we do? About Tandra, I mean.”

“Honestly, I think it would be best if you or Steve contacted Miss Haven. I think we need to spin this as an Avengers thing. Just explain that the Avengers found her when we took down a crooked operation and then learned that she’d been kidnapped by them. Say we felt like it was the right thing to take her in rather than turn her over to authorities for further trauma and that our hope is to just bring her back without too much political red tape. Provided that’s what this Miss Haven wants of course. If not, we’ll have to regroup from there I guess.”

Tony listened to the idea carefully, nodding here and there as he did. Bruce was clever in so many ways that if his ego wasn’t so well grounded, Tony knew he’d probably be jealous. Sure, he was smarter in some ways and, if anything, they blended well together. But there were very few people that Tony would consider his equal, and mean it deep down and not as just lip service because he was partial to them, and Bruce was one of those few.

“Sounds like a solid plan,” Tony agreed in the end. He then smiled and added, “And are you sure we can’t call this a date because you’re pretty darn cute when you do the whole coming up with a logical plan thing.”

Bruce snorted. “I already told you, you can call this anything you like as long as I’m getting a burger and fries out of it. But I don’t know how I feel about being called cute.”

“Adorable?” Tony suggested with playfully raised hands.

“No. God, no. That’s, infinitely worse.”

He and Bruce then laughed unrelenting for a few moments until the waitress came with their food and forced them to sober up. Once the plates had been set down in front of them and the waitress had gone again, Tony reached over and exchanged a small portion of Bruce’s fries with his burger. He then met Bruce’s admonishing gaze head on.

“You can stop looking at me like that now, Bruce,” Tony chided, echoing Bruce’s previous statement. “I’m really not that hungry. I’m here on your account. So eat up.”

“Now who has the martyr complex?” Bruce asked with a raised eyebrow before biting into one of the burgers.

“Probably still you. My problem’s more along the lines of hero syndrome,” Tony answered with a hitch of his shoulder and crooked grin. Bruce shook his head in amusement, but thankfully didn’t argue with him. Instead, they were able to finish their late night meal in lighter conversation. If theoretical discussion on how to advance the technology of artificial photosynthesis could be considered, by any average person, as light conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I don't want to assume anything so Daddy Warbucks and Grace are characters from the musical _Annie_. Clint is probably secretly into musicals. Probably.  
>  2\. Moved Sam and Sharon to the SHIELD HQ in NY instead of DC because, frankly, I wanted to name drop them and so it just makes more sense that way for this story. And not clarified here, but Steve became acquainted with them sometime between the end of The Avengers and his moving into the tower full time in this story.  
> 3\. And, yes, Steve may have gotten a glimpse of a ghost in that time period too :) But no promises on if any of that will come up in this story.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. X35 is a stupid little thing that came about from a friend and I discussing how it would actually kind of suck to live in Stark (or Avengers) Tower because JARVIS is basically big brother and would always be watching. Which turned into, oh god, so JARVIS would have all kinds of incriminating video of things and what if that got hacked or Tony, in a fit of douche!Tony, got the idea to abuse that and so on. So we thought maybe it would work best if Tony created a protocol that, when active, makes it so that JARVIS automatically deletes footage of a sensitive nature (sexytimes obvs) from the server to avoid that kind of temptation. Friend and I called it X35 because, calculator humor.  
> 2\. Obviously the Circus here is not really the same Circus from the comics. I just thought I'd keep the idea that Clint was with the/a Circus, but tried to make it more like a generic bad guy organization/conglomeration of things. (shrug)  
> 3\. Tandra is not going to be a totally pointless child OC. Promise. Can't say anything more than that.


End file.
